Saturday, October 17, 2015

Magic Shoes

I’ve never been a shoe person. I’m a flip flop and tennis shoes kind of gal. I’m a two loyal pairs worn until the soles fall apart kind of gal.

I’ve heard women talk about shoes like they’re talking about a loved one. I’ve heard women swear by THAT ONE PAIR of shoes that makes them feel strong and sexy and powerful. THAT ONE PAIR of blood red pumps they wear out to first dates and anniversary dinners and anywhere else where they just want to feel the very best about themselves. I’ve never understood that.

I love my flip flops. I have a pair right now that I have worn almost every day this past summer. They’re simple, silver, they go with everything. I love them but not like a best friend who gives me confidence and tells me that my butt looks good in my new jeans (or doesn’t look good if the case may be), more like a little brother who you kind of want to give a noogie to but you’re glad you have around nonetheless.

This past weekend, Zach’s sister got married. I had stressed for 24 hours over what to wear. I had a dress picked out but realized I had absolutely no shoes that matched it. Then I chose another but it was coral and can you wear coral to an October wedding? And were either of these dresses too dressy? This was a fairly casual wedding. I knew Zach would be in jeans and a button up shirt. I ended up going with the more casual coral dress paired with a jean jacket since the wedding was outside. This dress won out because I had a new pair of shoes I wanted to wear that didn’t work with the other dress.

I straightened my hair which is a daunting task for someone with hair like mine. It’s curly but not too curly, it tangles at the drop of a hat, it never EVER falls quite how I like and I hate to be that person who straightens their hair but misses one patch in the back that everyone looks at all day. I applied my makeup to the best of my novice ability. I did the dreaded panty hose dance as I wiggled myself in. I put on the coral dress I prayed didn’t look out of place in October and the jean jacket I hoped kept me warm enough. Finally, I put on my new boots.

You guys. They were THAT ONE PAIR. I put on the boots to finish the outfit and I felt sexy and powerful and IT WAS THE SHOES. I thought those girls were lying! Shoes can’t do that for a person, can they?

I’m unfortunately the heaviest I’ve ever been. A stint on an anti-depressant “helped” me put on a whopping twenty-five pounds. I don’t often feel truly pretty at this weight but can’t quite get my ass in gear to do something about it. But the shoes, oh, the shoes.

My THAT ONE PAIR weren’t anything obviously magical. They don’t have six inch heels. They aren’t a bright, sexy red. They aren’t the pair you see on the shelf and just swoon over, dreaming of the day you can afford a pair for yourself but it turns out, they’re my magic shoes. They involve floral and fringe and hey, did I mention floral?

I tested my theory and wore them again to church on Sunday. I left church, ran a couple of errands, came home and I didn’t even change into sweatpants before I went down to have lunch with family! This, my friends, is monumental. To willingly choose jeans over sweats just to have a casual lunch with family simply so I can wear a certain pair of shoes is, well, it’s a small miracle.

So today, at my heaviest weight, I’m thinking about my THAT ONE PAIR of shoes. I’m thinking about how good I felt about myself in those hours all because of a pair of shoes. I think I’ll try just a little bit harder to love myself whether I needed that last slice of pizza or not.


  1. I love your booties! Super cute.

    Best Wishes,
    Allison Jones |

  2. I love your booties!
    I just got a similar pair and can't wait to wear them.

    xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys